There is a Light!

There is a Light,
That shines in the darkness.
There is a Light,
That shines in the darkness.
His name is Jesus.
His name is Jesus.
His name is Jesus,
The Light of the World.
-Martin Smith of Delirious

I attended a small gathering at a church near here about a month ago. It was a worship experience provided by the passion tour. David Crowder and Charlie Hall led us in an awesome time of corporate worship. Being a musician and lover of music, I usually get fired up for these kinds of moments.

I've never really been a good listener when it comes to sermons, devotions, lectures, etc. I blame it on attention deficit disorder. Anyway, that night we were privileged to hear Louie Giglio speak. He communicated with a power and an honesty that I found captivating. I was hanging from each word that he spoke. One of the things that struck me was his explanation that God loves the dark.

At first, I tried to figure out where he was going with this, but then I stopped analyzing and just listened. He said that Because God was Light, He loved the dark. A shining light cuts through the darkness. There is a Light that shines in the darkness. I never really thought about it that much. I just thought of God as good, and Satan as bad. In our own lives it goes much deeper than that. It isn't that you are good or bad. It is whether you are alive or dead. He continued to explain that we are either alive in Christ, or dead in Sin. That makes Christianity seem so freeing, so liberating.

I work in a secular field. I help maintain a controlled, structured environment in a juvenile rehab/detention center. In this line of work, many of my co-workers seem jaded and hardened by their jobs and by the world they live in. I have tried to be a light in this dark place, but it is difficult. I've discussed spiritual matters with many of my peers, but often I am met with similar reactions. "Christianity seems so oppressive." "Why would I want to follow all the do's and don'ts? I have a great time without religion screwing it up."

You see, many people that are in the darkness have not seen the light. Many of my co-workers have had religious backgrounds in their childhood. Due to one reason (fundamentalism was condemning and harsh) or another (church people are critical, judgmental, and hypocritical) many of our neighbors have been left with a bad taste in their mouths when it comes to Christ.

We must shine out light into this dark word.

You are the Light of the world
A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
Neither do people light a lamp,
And put it under a bowl.
Instead, they put it on its stand,
And it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men,
That they may see your good deeds,
And praise your Father who is in Heaven.

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Different Look:

I thought I should overhaul the sight, since the Matrix theme is a little stale...this is probably not the finished product. I am open to ideas.
-Mike

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Search results are strange

When I checked my counter stats service today, I realized that many of my visitors are using a search engine to come to my site. I thought it would be interesting to share some of the searches that produced my site as a result.

Google - how to reach spiritual completion

Google - disturbing pics

Yahoo ! - hank hill on christian rock

Google - hank hill on christian rock

Google - christian criticize fellow believer

Google - train wreck pics

Yahoo ! - rainforests being cut down in november 2003

It was interesting to me so I thought I'd share

-Mike

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On Evangelism

I struggle with the idea of evangelism as it has been played out during my lifetime. Leaving tracts as tips at a restaurant, flyers in restrooms, and door to door witnessing is not evangelism. It's annoying. It's right above telemarketers in the list of most annoying.

Lifestyle evangelism doesn't work too well either. The idea is that if I am a good example of Christ's love and compassion, then a non-believer will wonder why I am different from the "others." The reason that this doesn't work is because a majority of Christians are bitter, judgmental, hateful creatures. I've met people who are the meanest creatures this side of hell then later found out they were Christians. How depressing. How discouraging. How detrimental to the Kingdom.

The other evangelistic approach is what I call the "Java-Jesus" approach. The idea here is that you develop a friendship with an individual, then invite them to your "cool" church. The church has a very modern approach to worship, a relaxed atmosphere, and narrative preacher. Oh, and did I mention we have a coffee bar?

But what do we do when we get people into the building? My point is this: There are several styles of Churches. The church I attend is a seeker-sensitive church. Others are missional congregations, some are evangelical fundamentalist congregations, some are snake-handling,tongue-speaking,poison-drinking,holy brotherhood of the grace of God our Father in Heaven congregations.

There are reasons for all the different styles. And each has it's flaws. Some are too closed-minded to change. Some are judgmental and aggressive towards non-believers, others are over the top and down right scary. And others are merely country club mutual admiration societies.

The flaw with my church is that it's watered down. No offense to the ministry staff or the volunteers or anyone that helps out behind the scenes. But being a seeker sensitive church means sacrificing meat for milk, means prioritizing conversions over journeys of faith, means labeling seeker or believer, means being comfortable instead of holding each other accountable.

I could go on and on, but then you would think I hate this church. Instead I love it. I love this church not because of the programs, the sermons, the worship services, the youth ministry, the small groups, or the coffee bar. I love this church for two reasons.

1) It has taught me to develop my own responsibility for being fed through other means than just Sunday Morning. I have been a follower of Christ for nearly 15 years. And for the majority of those 15 years, I believed that I could only learn about God through the ministry staff at my church. I know that sounds elementary, but it's true. I assumed that since they were educated, godly men then they knew more about teaching me the truth than I knew about looking for it. So I didn't look. I didn't read books by other great godly men and women, I didn't search for study tools to develop my personal growth in the bible, I didn't search for mentors to help guide me on my journey, because pastor Steve or brother Tom knew what I needed.

2) The other reason I love my church is that it has taught me that friendship is key in living a Godly life. I have never known true friendships. The kind that calls for brutal, integrity based honesty. In fact, the guy I call my best friend was nothing more than a good buddy that I enjoyed hanging out with. Until this year. Jeff called me out. It was a slap in the face. "Mike, we have known each other since college. But we don't know each other on a spiritual friend level. We don't pray together, we don't discuss doubts, and theological questions, we don't encourage each other. It's still the same relationship we had when we were roommates in college. College was 6 years ago. We've both grown up and our friendship needs to grow up. We're not college roommates anymore. We are adults. And our friendship needs to start reflecting it." This was all paraphrased because my memory sucks. But you catch the drift.

That kind of brutal honesty took me by the hair and shook me. I instantly woke up to the sleep of denial that had shadowed my life. I need to grow up. I'm not a kid anymore. And my friendships need to be mature, God-centered friendships. I thank Jeff for that conversation, because it made me realize that I never knew the friendship of those closest people to me. My wife and I have grown closer since that day. My co-workers have mentioned how I am different. And I finally entered into the friendship with Jesus that had eluded me for 15 years. And all that is because a friend cared enough to put our history on the line for the sake of a friendship.

So where do I go from here? I go to work, to the market, to the tech store, to the mall. I go out to the world and try to develop new relationships. I try to be real, all the time. I try to present the compassion and love that Christ Jesus shows for me. I try to be the man of God that I have been called to be.

Why?

Because Jesus' own words ring in my heart, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew22:37-40) By these two commands I will strive to live my life. By these two commandments I will try to evangelize to those who don't have a real friend.

-Mike

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Prayer request

The following is part of an email I just received from a dear friend of mine. Her fiance is very ill and I thought that since I am averaging 15 visitors a day that I might be able to recruit some prayers for them.

Hello everyone,
This is Joy, Matt's fiance. As some of you may know, Matt has in the past
couple of weeks become seriously ill. What started as a flu a month and a
half ago has now developed into cardio myopathy, a serious condition affecting
the heart. Last week Matt was told the virus had somehow affected his heart,
but with medication he would be fine. It was then called myocarditis. This
condition is one that causes congestive heart failure. Matt's heart was
enlarged which can cause the heart to beat faster to compensate and fluid to build
up in this body because it's not being pushed through properly. He kept
getting worse through the week and over the weekend, so he was finally
hospitalized and put on a dobutamine holiday - a drug that usually revives the heart
into a healthier functioning so meds can work better. However, I guess it
didn't do as well as needed for Matt. He had an echocardiogram yesterday that
showed his heart was not that much better than a week or so ago when we first
went to the cardiologist. Tomorrow he goes in for a cardiac cathederization to
assess the pressures inside his heart as well as get a biopsy to send off to
some heart specialists. Yesterday he was told the best case scenario would be
that he would be back to normal in 6 months, the worst a heart transplant.
I'm not sure if that best is still an option w/ the news we got today. His
doctors have already started talking to the heart transplant specialists, which
is who they are also sending this biopsy to. If tomorrow's tests show his
heart is inflamed - that's good news b/c they can treat that and hopefully help
his heart start working better. If not, they are hoping the specialists can
suggest some medications like antivirals that might help. There are several
things they can try before resorting to a transplant.
Needless to say this has been a very difficult and scary experience for us.
We keep hoping for good news but it's been few and far between so far.
Please pray for us or send out your good thoughts for us.

PLEASE forward this to anyone you feel might want to know this information.
Blessings,
Joy

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Update on my "Dark Moment of the Soul."

As many of you know, I have been struggling with faithlessness, doubts, and confusion regarding my religious beliefs. I have been informed by a friend that this is a "dark moment of the soul." Catchy. Anyway, I wouldn't say that I am a spiritual giant yet, but I have taken the last two weeks to figure this out. I have done a lot of praying, a lot of reading, and a lot of listening. I spent a whole three hour period one day just listening to God. Waiting to here His voice. I know many of you don't feel you have the time for such an exercise, but try 20 minutes...it was really awe-inspiring.
As I said, I'm nowhere near a spiritual giant, but I am closer to God than I was two weeks ago. For those of you that are somewhere in your own "Dark moment," I want to encourage you to continue looking for answers. If you have been through your own "Dark moment" in the past, please give us feedback on what helped you. This is a crisis that many followers of Christ refuse to admit. I don't understand why we should be ashamed when we figure out that we are not perfect. We all knew that anyway. Continued encouragement to those of you facing your own obstacles.

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Great excerpt from Organic Church


Attn: Future Simple Church Planters--Count the Cost:

*Expect pain.
*Expect to be misunderstood.
*Expect to be persecuted and expect it to come first from those who follow Jesus.
*Expect to be maligned, attacked and ridiculed from all sides.
*Expect to grow tired and weary.
*Expect to want to give up.
*Expect to lose many old friends.
*Expect to lose all of your friends where the "church" is the central reason for your friendship.
*Only your deep and Christ-centered friendships will endure.
*Expect to be labeled. (a freak, a hippie, a cult leader, a quitter, a fraud, an idealist, a purist, a heretic, a divider, a communist, a jerk, an egomaniac, a devil worshiper)
Yes, I've been called them all to my face.
*Expect to weep...deeper and stronger than you ever have.
*Expect to doubt your calling, your convictions, your path, your faith, and your life.
*Expect to be lonely.
*Expect to be seen as utterly unsuccessful.
*Expect to die...nothing will be left of you. You will cease to exist. The last things in you to die will be your desire to be great for God and your desire to be happy.

And then, you will finally... Live.
*Expect life.
*Expect meaning.
*Expect to finally understand the prophets and apostles.
*Expect to know Jesus and his life...for that is all that you will have...and that is all that you need.

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Letter to Theology Professor

I found this in the archives of "The Door" magazine. It was published as a satirical look at why the "old law" is irrelevant to us under the "new covenant of Christ"

Dear Dr.

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a.. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

b.. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c.. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d.. Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

e.. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f.. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g.. Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

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Hank tells it like it is

Thanks to Emerging Minister for posting the following quote. It inspired me to shoot my mouth off this morning.

Heard this on "King of the Hill". Hank was talking to a Christian rocker and said this:

"You're not making Christianity better... you're making rock and roll worse."

Here's what I, Mike Box, have to say about it:
I've thought that kind of stuff for a long time, I'm just glad that Mike Judge utilized his under-appreciated animated social commentary to share the philosophy.

I'm sure Hank's statement was meant more to criticize than to help, but look at it from this point of view for a second: Marketing bad music with the label of "Christian" does neither Christianity nor the music industry any good.

Christianity, so it seems, has been trying to "keep up" with the world for many years. I remember when I was a new believer that I hated trying to force feed my ears with "Christian rock" as an alternative to what I really wanted to listen to. The problem? Well until the last 3-5 years, "Christian rock" sucked. I mean there was Petra, Bride, and let's not forget Stryper....As if glam rock and hair bands weren't difficult to digest when they were singing about girls, car, and rockin'; these bands took themselves serious enough to write lyrics about church, love, and Christ. All while singing (if that's the word) in a eunuch style vibrato that would make Michael Jackson sound like Al Green.

That was just the music labeled "Christian Rock." There was also "Christian Pop," "Christian Rap," and "Contemporary Adult Christian" (which was a lofty way of saying: "This stuff really sucks!")

As a musician and lover of most music (country not being included, as I try to stay away from Satanic things.), I tried to listen with my heart instead of my ears. But that only works for so long. I became so discouraged with anything labeled "Christian" that I stopped using the term to describe myself. My thought was, "would any of this "Christian" stuff turn me to Christ or away if I was a seeker (in this I imply someone not yet placing faith in Christ)?"
I felt (and still feel) that marketing something as "Christian" was a way of getting it sold. No music store in their right mind would put a Petra cd in the same display as a Foo Fighters cd. Why? Because it wouldn't sell the product. So instead of distributing to mainstream stores, the cd is labeled "Christian" and distributed to Christian bookstores. (where it sells to sheltered preacher's kids like children's chewable crack.) Or in the mainstream store it is placed in a back corner of the store with other novelty items such as soundtracks and comedy cd's.

Don't get me wrong, there is a need for music alternatives for the person desiring not to "pollute" their hearts with worldly thoughts. My heart goes out to the seekers, the newly committed, and to the "outsider" that has to try to decipher "good music" from "Christian music."

Back to the quote: "You're not making Christianity better... You're making rock and roll worse."

That is my point exactly. Christianity is not benefiting from this at all. What are the two main objectives of Christianity? 1) To love God and Serve Him. 2) To love your fellow humans.

In the "loving and serving God" department, I'm sure that all the bases are covered by those who label their goods and services as "Christian." But in the "loving your fellow humans" department, I sure it comes up short. I mean sure you should reach out to fellow believers and give them something to uplift and encourage them. But the main goal should be evangelism. Reaching those who have yet to been reached.

I once heard someone say, "you can polish a piece of (poop) all you want, but what you're left with is a piece of polished (poop)."
My point is this: If you take something that mainstream critics and analysts would label as "second-rate" and then call it Christian, what is being accomplished?

Now as I say this I am reminded of such great new music coming out that has taken a clearly alternate approach. Instead or marketing your goods as "Christian" why not market it as "Quality" and let the consumers reach their own conclusions. Bands like 12 Stones, Kutless, Zao, P.O.D., and many others market themselves as bands with spiritual tones to their music. The band members may be "Christian" but they are not "Christian Bands."

So, is Hank right. Yes. "You're not making Christianity better... You're making rock and roll worse." and at the same time "You're not helping out the music consumer, your killing your ability to reach others."

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As many of you can see, I've been working around the clock to upgrade my site. Soon I will have bio, photos, and extras pages also. Keep checking back, and give me some feedback.
-Mike

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let it be known that i am not leaving the church, losing the faith, turning from god, or falling from grace. i am questioning who i am, where i am, and who i will hopefuly become. doubts, questions, and concerns are a good thing. they lead to searching. and with the right questions hopefully you reach truth. that's all i am seeking. i am questioning who i am in regards to my god and trying to re-evaluate my life in order to gain a closer relationship with the one person i should trust, Christ. if you have been concerned about me, please let me know. i would love to talk to you about this. thanks for prayers - mike

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What follows is a copied section from my former site. More will be added later.

Monday, November 03, 2003
I am at a spiritual crossroads. I cannot find the right direction. My life as it is, is incomplete, imperfect, and insignificant. My spiritual life is full of doubts, trials, and wrong turns. sometimes I'm left to question: "is there really a God? a supreme creator? a holy and gracious giver of life?" or is this all a sham? a 2000 plus year old hoax.

Don't judge me, you've been there before too.

If there is a God how do you know? Why do you believe? is it based on a book, a church, a minister. All of which can be corrupted by man.

If there is a God how do you know? Where is he? Especially in such a dark time in history. Why doesn't he do something?

If there is a God how do you know? Does he talk to you? Are you sure?

If there is a God how do you know?


Friday, October 17, 2003
I know I haven't posted anything in a very long time. I guess it's because I've honestly been a mess. Seriously. I've been pretending for far too long that everything in my life is "fine." But the truth is that I am a mess. I'm an occupational mess, a social mess, and musical mess, and more so a spiritual mess. I've realized that God doesn't want me to be the "squeaky clean cookie-cutter Christian." He doesn't want me to pretend to be a good Christian man. He doesn't want me to look like a Christian on the outside, but be a liar on the inside.

At some point I had to come to grips with the fact that I struggle. I struggle with anger. I struggle with pride. I struggle with cussing. I struggle with lust. I struggle with doubt. I struggle with guilt. I struggle with my role in my church. I struggle with my role in "The Church."

It seems to me that as long as we put on our "sunday faces" and sing the songs and talk the talk, that everyone is happy. It is easier to reply "I'm fine" than to reply, "I'm not so good. I couldn't put the bottle down yesterday, and I lost a battle to pornography." What would happen if you were honest with everyone? They'd freak out. I mean our churches have become such a social club that no one is real anymore; they just show the sunday side and hope nobody calls them on it.

I wish that I had it all together. I wish that I was as spiritually mature as I could get. But maybe I am as spiritually muture as I'll get. (at least till Christ's return).
I realized today that we are never going to achieve spiritual perfection, spiritual completion. We will always be a work in progress, until that day that we face God face to face. And for some reason I'm ok with that.

Given that I am such a mess lately, I think God is working in me. I haven't figured it out yet, but I hope he lets me in on the secret soon.


Saturday, June 07, 2003
EVERYTHING IS WRONG

by 'everything is wrong' i mean EVERYTHING.
i look around me - i'm typing on a plastic and metal and glass computer perched on a desk made from cut down trees and toxic paint. i sit in a
building made of wood and bricks that were taken from the earth on a
street made of poisonous asphalt that was laid over an eco system that
had thrived for hundreds of thousands of years. i'm clothed in cotton that
was saturated with pesticides while it grew and treated and dyed with toxic
chemicals while it was being processed. all of my possessions were made
hundreds or thousands of miles away and shipped in styrofoam and plastic
wrap via gas-burning engines and destructive roads and airways to me. my
food, is shipped from where it was grown to my local store and is often
packaged in paper, plastic, metal, and toxic inks. i know tons of people that
eat meat, smoke cigarettes, drive cars, use drugs, etc., even though they know that these things will ultimately hurt the quality (and length) of their lives. i live in an apartment building where no-one is on a first name basis. i know more about idiot actors in hollywood that i've never met than i do about the woman who lives next door to me (and who is probably more interesting). while on my way to work i inhale toxic exhaust from other cars sitting in traffic.

to make sure that eating 3 cans of oven cleaner will make you sick, or to make
sure that pouring nail polish remover into your eyes will hurt you we torture mice, rabbits, dogs, cats, etc. we use toxic chlorine bleach to keep our underpants white. we cut down the rainforests to drill for oil so that we can drive to the video store. do you see what i mean? everything really is wrong. even the back-to-nature people still drive cars and use products made from materials ripped out of the earth. people struggle all of their lives doing work that they hate just to be a functioning member of a system that is wasteful, destructive and unhealthy.

what i advocate is this - a sensible, pragmatic, and non-destructive approach
towards existence. we need to re-evaluate our practices. just as it doesn't make sense to hire an elevator operator to run an automatic elevator it doesn't make sense for billions of people to drive to work alone in their cars. it doesn't make sense to consume animal products. it doesn't make sense to use pesticides on agricultural products. it doesn't make sense to derive power from nuclear, coal, and petroleum when we have solar, hydro, and wind power. it doesn't make sense to maintain destructive systems just because people earn their livings from them.
it doesn't make sense to pour billions of tons of toxic chemicals onto our lawns so that they'll look pretty and green. i could go on but you're probably either bored or overwhelmed by now. i advocate change, massive, massive change. basically we should stop doing those things that are destructive to the environment, other creatures, and ourselves and figure out new ways of existing. that's it.

God is angry!!! i think. here in the u.s. vast numbers of politicians and religious leaders (the line between the two being blurry) are masquerading hate, racism, sexism, and ignorance under the banner of conservative christian values. conservative christian values are these - humility, mercy, compassion, love, honesty, etc. nowhere in the bible does christ encourage his followers to be intolerant, greedy bigots. nowhere in the bible does christ encourage his followers to lie, slander, steal, or be divisive along economic or cultural lines. preserving the 'american way' has nothing to do with christ. in fact, the 'american way' of greed, cruelty, environmental destruction, racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. would seem to have nothing to do with christ. christ is wonderful, loving, compassionate and honest. today's right wing evangelical christians seem to be insecure, hate-filled creatures and although i should probably pity them, right now i'm angry. we sit back and watch as the christian right tries to legislate their petty morality at the city, state, and federal level. they successfully ousted the best chairman the new york city
school system ever had because he encouraged condom distribution and an open minded curriculum. here's a question - how are teen pregnancy, hiv/aids, and a redundant, ineffectual curriculum christian? instead of spreading hate, ignorance and a narrow-minded social agenda why doesn't the christian right go out and spread mercy, compassion and selflessness?

two thousand years ago christ called the religious & political leaders of his day
'whitewashed tombs, clean on the outside but inside full of evil'. god sent prophets, the religious political leaders killed and tortured them. god sent christ, the religious & political leaders killed and tortured him. the religious and political leaders of 2,000 years ago were 'whitewashed tombs, full of evil', and the religious and political leaders of today seem to be just as bad.

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