Conversations on life, love, and coffee
I spent a good portion of the day at a coffee shop, reading, drinking my chai with soy milk, and talking with people. I spoke to many other clients about the miserable weather, politics, sports, you know, small talk. But during the course of three hours, I spent a long period of time talking with one particular barista. He and I have spoken quite a bit in the past. We have developed a friendship and we have seen each other outside of the coffee shop and exchanged kind words. This barista happens to be a gay man. He isn't gay in a "broadway show-tunes, rainbow flag wearing" kind of way. He is gay in the "i don't make it absolutely obvious to everyone" sort of way. We discussed what it is like being gay in a mostly conservative area. We talked about politics is reference to homosexuality. We talked about his distrust for most Christians. In his words, "I love the Church, and what it stands for. But I know that the Church doesn't love me." I thought, "isn't this sad." I told him that although some Christians might not get past his lifestyle, I can get over it because I have built a relationship with him...i don't see him as the gay guy at the coffee shop. He is my friend at the coffee shop. How do I let him know that although some Christians might seem antagonistic towards him, that Christ still loves him and wants a relationship with him? The gay community is a marginalized section of society. It is shunned by most Christians, overlooked by some politics, and divided among itself. My heart broke for him as he talked about the pain and anger he had felt from confrontations with Christians. How being told that he was "going to Hell" and that "God hates fags" never made him want to change, it just made him sad. For his attacker and for society. God does not hate gay people. He doesn't hate me in all of my sin. He hates the sin. He hates the separation that we cause through sin. But he loves us. He wants us to come to him, cling to him, depend on him. I couldn't offer any clear answers for my friend today. I mostly listened and apologized for the insensitive approach to Christianity that he has encountered. I left there thanking him for opening himself, for discussing such personal stories, and for valuing my opinions. I am not going to change the world, but i can change how i react to it. |
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